Avoiding The Boss And Female Coworkers

He leans in and blows in your ear. Sometimes he licks your ear with his tongue. Your husband or boyfriend? No. Your boss. He’s the two-faced manager at the office. He projects two images. In one image, he presents himself as a professional, highlighting his family-man status. In the other image, he furtively seeks office sex games from unwilling lower level workers like yourself.

You’re the prey. At first you find the situation confusing. But you soon learn that you must decide whether to play in the lion’s den.

Perhaps you feel compelled to comply with your boss’s sexual overtures. After all, how will you feed your family? How will you pay the bills?

But what happens if you refuse your boss’s sexual advances? Unless you have connections that can assist you with the dilemma, you become the hunted one–in more ways than one. Everyone knows the boss wants to sleep with you. Hell, some even figure the boss already has slept with you.

Now your bold, male coworkers proceed to make their sexual moves. One or two asks you out. You turn them down because you don’t want to mix business with pleasure. And all hell breaks loose.

Loose is definitely how the office subsequently labels you. After all, you had to do something to keep the men chasing you. Perhaps they really did catch you. But what if they didn’t catch you? Coworkers will have destroyed your office reputation for nothing.

And in such a precarious situation, who can you turn to? No one at the office. Other coworkers fear speaking up. But then you have that majority of coworkers who prove vicious. You know who they are. Other women. Instead of holding their hand out to you, your female coworkers cross their arms. Or clench their fists.

Whether it’s because of pure jealousy or plain snobbishness, your female coworkers can prove detrimental to your career and subsequently to your health. Non supportive coworkers hold little or no tolerance for victims of sexual harassment. Instead those same coworkers heap insults. They join in the fun and games–conspiracy, really–against you.

With your coworkers partnering with management to destroy your office reputation, what can you do? You should file sexual harassment and hostile work environment charges at a Fair Employment Practices Agency like the EEOC. If this step has already been completed, you should file continuous retaliation charges.

Although you will not gain any friends by blowing the whistle on others, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The EEOC may help you win the pending sexual harassment and continuous retaliation charges.

Are you having bullying or sexual harassment problems on your job? Do you need someone to talk with you? I’d love to hear from you. Email me.

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Be Careful Filing Charges Against Your State Employer

Because of a state government’s power, proving sexual harassment and bullying can be difficult and darn near impossible. The state will deploy its entire arsenal of agencies to blow up your life with the hand grenade of retaliation. Damaging your image is the primary goal. Below is just one agency the state of Ohio deployed against me.

For instance, I found myself in heated situations with the Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency for my interstate case with New York Child Support Enforcement Agency. At first I thought the delays were due to New York’s bureaucracy gone awry. But I quickly learned that all delays were on the part Ohio. For instance, my case worker showed me a blank case file even though I’d turned in all paperwork months earlier.

I wanted to raise hell. But I was on my lunch break from the Ohio Bureau of Workers’ Compensation (BWC). So I completed all the forms anyway and returned to work. When I checked on my case again weeks later, my caseworker admitted that she’d misplaced my paperwork. I found myself fighting an Ohio agency for money that was rightfully my daughter’s.

After appealing to supervisors and directors, the child support finally arrived bi-weekly. The amount of support was considerably lower even though my daughter’s father made quite a bit of money as a firefighter and a part-time educator. Ohio seemed to torpedo my efforts for increases.

Worse, the checks suddenly stopped coming. I contacted the father who assured me he was paying. He even chuckled about me not receiving the child support. Determined to drag him into court, I contacted New York Child Support Enforcement Agency. After a short investigation, the agency assured me that they garnished his checks regularly. He was all paid up. The problem was on the Ohio end of child support.

Confronting Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency proved stressful. The agency had decided to “hold” my support checks and pay in one lump sum. Eventually they issued me a check for five months of back child support. Later at BWC, in reference to the child support, my supervisor said, “We can all do this the easy way or the hard way. Back off your sexual harassment shit.” These statements chilled me.

For a while I did back off—until the next incident. If you’re a state worker complaining about any kind of discrimination, remember: You can settle things the easy way or the hard way. Just know that there’s no such thing as the easy way.

Your state employer will ensure that they take you down before they cut any checks for pain and suffering. If they bloody you and your family in the process, so what? If they can make you look irrational and crazy, that’s all the better. My berating the child support agency for withholding my checks added fuel to the fire of retaliation.

To this day, the Ohio Bureau of Workers’ Compensation continuously retaliates against me by interfering with my life. That’s what they do: Interfere with your life. Little things add up. In the meantime, you’re boiling over with fury. Stay tuned for the next installment.

The Bully In Your Cubicle

Has a workplace bully invaded your personal space? Imagine a bully entering your cubicle and threatening to gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you. More than bullying, this threat screams of sexual harassment with undertones of criminality. At least, that’s my opinion.

Notifying a supervisor and upper level management prompted scorn and ridicule of me. After all, this was the same guy who chimed in with other coworkers to call me a prostitute. Horrified, I contacted human resources. They conducted one of many “all hands” meetings. In these meetings, EEO officers cautioned the entire office about sexual harassment instead of punishing the offender.

I felt such shame and embarrassment. Most importantly, I felt helpless because I was not yet schooled on the issues of hostile work environment and sexual harassment. Looking back on that terribly upsetting day, I realize what I should have done.

I should have named it sexual harassment and bullying by calling out the man I refused to sleep with. But I was paralyzed by the thought of the coworker actually harming me. And I was dumbfounded by management’s inaction on the matter. Sure, EEO officers traveled from Columbus, Ohio to Mason, Ohio in order to make a speech. But that speech only turned more coworkers against me.

Right then, I should have taken off work. But I needed all of my vacation and sick days for emergencies. The problem was: I failed to recognize sexual harassment as an emergency. So I remained at the office even though I hated being there.

Looking back, I should have taken my psychologist’s advice: take care of your health by removing yourself from the entire situation. You can always get another job. But you can’t get another you. For years I mourned my life. Eventually I snapped out of it to fight for myself, to stand up for myself.

It took me nearly two decades to learn I’m in the fight of my life. My opponent? Ohio Bureau of Workers’ Compensation–in other words–the state of Ohio, my former employer. 

People wondered why I stayed in such a hostile environment. It’s simple: I knew no better. From the moment I turned down the agency director, BWC targeted me. I complained of sexual harassment. The complaint forced BWC to defend itself by labeling me as a prostitute.

BWC harassed me inside and outside the office. The agency harassed me on my subsequent part-time job at Mercy HealthPlex. When BWC couldn’t brand me as a prostitute because they couldn’t find one person I’d taken money from, BWC labeled me as just crazy.

And they spent years driving me crazy. To this day, I await the termination of the fact-finding investigation at the Ohio Civil Rights Commission and the EEOC. I’m told that the investigation continues until one of us—I or the state of Ohio—wins.

 

Did You Know That Retaliation Accounts For More Than One Third Of Workplace Violation Charges?

4/27/2016

According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), in 2015 individuals filed 39, 757 charges related to all statutes of retaliation. This number represents 44.5% of all charges filed. For instance, if an individual files a race, sex or sexual harassment discrimination, that individual should immediately check for employer-related retaliation even in the most petty instance because petty retaliation represents the beginning of either a long battle to come or petty retaliation represents the beginning of the end. All of this is rooted in discrimination.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination based on race, creed, sex, national origin, color and religion. 31,893 individuals filed retaliation charges for Title VII only in the year 2015. The number of filings represents 35.7% of all charges filed. These numbers warn employees to beware of retaliation because employers exercise retaliation in mysterious ways. For instance, suddenly your employer changes your work hours or drops you down from 20 hours per week to 16.

Retaliation comes in all shapes and sizes. If you are responsible for the opening of a gym, and someone hides the keys to the business office so that you cannot transfer the required $200 from the safe to the cash register, that is retaliation–even if your employer uses different people to do such a thing. If you complain about running a cash register, and multiple employees violate or saunter behind the cashier’s desk, and you complain, be prepared for many different people from different departments showing up in your area doing the same thing.

Although this sounds petty; but it isn’t. If you tell your supervisor that you are uncomfortable with multiple people having access to the cash register and the petty cash because you are responsible, you may feel silly, but expressing your thoughts on this will save you from a potential theft charge. NOTE: Proof or allegations of theft nullifies and ends any EEOC or Fair Employment Practices Agencies’ investigation. And even though you wish to keep the peace, your peace was shattered the moment you filed or complained about workplace violations. The company or organization has placed you in the untenable position of fighting for your own reputation because you’ve just been dubbed a troublemaker. Until the next time. . .